#possibly bipolar

[funkily]

i feel like Manic is a word often used to describe e1 fwhip (for good reason) but i feel like we need to explore this more . his egos already pretty big, you know as soon as he gets a manic episode he feels like a god . someone notices hes chattier and, like . smiling and theyre like alright . should probably keep an eye on that

[moomeecore]

controversial opinion betty has way more autistic traits / coding than simon but ppl immediately jump on assuming characters who are neurodivergent coded/ have those vibes must have adhd if theyre energetic and autism if they're calm

[moldychefboyardeecan]

“Stop Saving Me, Just Love Me.”

TW/CW: manic episodes, violence out of pure rage, manic depression, bipolar disorder, alcohol consumption, nicotine addiction/cigarettes, child abuse, p in v, fingering

A/N: a bit of lore drop for you guys; I am not bipolar, but my mother is. She’s still not in her right mind, and I haven’t lived nor really communicated with her in years(I’ve spoken to her sometimes, but not as often to say we communicate). In a way, this is kind of for my mom, since when I did live with her, she really loved Sanji. Or at least, used to tell me that when I watched the show (‘el rubio’ as she called him, aka the blonde guy) in her house. 

For anyone dealing with mental health issues and disorders, I want you to know that you are loved, cherished, and wanted in this world. 

Thank you @hannahbarberra162 for beta-ing and helping clean this up <3

chapter 1

next chapter (2) | masterlist

wc: 1.6k

bipolar!reader x Sanji

tags: meet-cute, smut, angst with comfort

please read with caution.

The slump was enough to put you out of commission for weeks.

You’ve gotten depressed, ditching calls from your publisher, leaving your manuscript abandoned, each second you don’t send it a chance you won’t make it as a writer. Maybe you’d have better luck getting a cheap drink. Your forehead hit the sticky bar countertop with a thud. Second time this week. The bartender didn’t even blink anymore. Usually, you didn’t put yourself that much together, just well enough you wouldn’t get pimped out over some cheap booze. Yet there was always someone, an enigma, hitting on you.

“Hey there princess.” The man was a rando, a stranger. He reeked of Johnie Walker, as if he bathed in the whiskey.

“I..um.. hi?” You hesitated, trying to ignore the man, he was drunk.His head would end lying down, just like yours was at the moment. Maybe just saying hi would get him off. You had no idea what he might do in that state.

Just entertain him..he’ll get out of your hair soon. 

It’s not the first time this has happened. In fact, you hadn’t been so diplomatic the first time. Some guy slurred something about your smile, leaned in too close, his hand touching where they shouldn’t, and—crack—your fist met his jaw before you even thought about it. The bar pressed charges. The guy pressed charges. And when your family drove six hours to the city to plead your case, you had to explain—through gritted teeth—that no, you weren’t some ‘bar brawler’. You were just a struggling writer, stuck in a dive bar at 21 because your career was going nowhere, and some drunk idiot had picked the wrong damn night to test you.

This time, you’d try words first. “I’m not interested.”

The man, who you'd nicknamed Walker due to the strong scent of liquor that emanated from him, was still there, talking about his day, and his wife. You knew where this was going. You rolled your eyes at the predictability, stirring your drink as a silent whisper: fuck off, creep..  

"Y’know," he slurred, shifting even closer, "I got a place nearby. Real quiet."

You raised your head up from the counter. Before you could even respond, another voice sliced through the air, smooth and deliberate.

"The lady’s with me."

Your head turned just enough to catch a glimpse. Blond hair covering just one eye, a sharp suit, a cigarette perched between his fingers. His expression was calm, unreadable, like he did this all the time. He wasn’t looking at you—his attention was locked onto Walker, posture lazy but poised.

Walker blinked, his drunken mind processing the new presence. Then he scoffed. "Oh yeah? Since when?"

“Since she got tired of your shit.” He took a drag, stepping closer toward your direction, his mouth smiling, but his eyes pleading that you’d get the hint to play along. He’ll lead the scene.

“You being spoken for, princess..?” you looked at Walker, before your eyes glanced at the blonde, telling him you got the hint.

“No, I’m not. I was just waiting on my boyfriend.”

Walker staggered off, mumbling curses under his breath.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, feeling your shoulders suddenly slump down.  Finally, you turned to your so-called rescuer. He was already watching you, a smirk playing at his lips as he flicked his cigarette ash into an empty tray on the countertop.

“Thanks for that, by the way.” You chuckled out.

“No problem. Buy you a drink?”

“Sure.” You patted the empty seat Walker was leaning over, inviting this blonde man next to you. “What’s your name, stranger?

“Sanji. Vinsmoke Sanji. Yours?”

You took a moment to take him in, really take in the man in front of you. “Y/N. What's eye candy like you doing in such a sour place?” Your mouth slipped out, your face flushing with embarrassment. “Oh my god- I didn't”

He cut you off with his laughter, waving his hand, airing out your Freudian slip. “It’s fine, really. It happens, we say stuff we don’t mean.”

“You think so? I studied psychology for a while. Don’t we usually mean those slips?” You paused, scared to chase him away. This guy just saved you from a drunk, and you talk to him about word vomit. You laughed, startled by your own boldness. Maybe it was the tension of the scene before him. Maybe it was just him. “But seriously, you are well-dressed, probably have money, and don't look like you’re 2 seconds away from another depressive episode. What are you doing in a place like this?” The bar you frequented was the cheapest on the block, flooded with hookers, traffickers, druggies, and alcoholics alike. You were typically the “only one who can get up without falling when leaving”, according to the bartender. It was weird seeing a well-dressed man like him, unless he had ulterior motives.

“I needed something quick and good. Same as you.” He answered.

“Oh wow, mind-reader. How fascinating. Let me play too. You’re...a martini guy.”

“No, actually. Bourbon or wine.”

You laughed, putting your face into one of your hands, your palm hiding your snickering and smiling . “Damn. I never get it wrong. You’re the first.” You move your hand away, placing it on your cheek, elbow perched on the countertop, showing your grin in full. "So, Sanji, was it? Tell me, you always come in like some cigarette-scented knight in a suit? Not that I'm complaining or anything.”

"Only when there’s a damsel in distress and a shitty whiskey cologne in the air. Or maybe it’s just that I’m drawn to pretty girls drinking watered down, sad excuses for Mojitos." He scooted closer, enough that his cologne reached your nose. It smelled nice, not too strong, natural. Like fresh cut violets.

"Playing smooth operator, Casanova?"

"Only if it’s working," he said with a smirk. "Is it?"

You pretended to consider, swirling your drink. "Hmm. You’re an upgrade compared to what I’ve seen tonight.”

He smirked. “I take it as a compliment. Besides, you did call me..what was it? ‘Eye candy?’  Can’t say much, Miss 'we mean our slips.'”.

Oh, he was smooth. Talking to him was like a breath of fresh air compared to the people you’ve seen around here, clearing your palate from the white rum clouding your depression.You chuckled, enjoying the moment, completely cut off by taking a sip of your drink, only to realize it’s empty. “How about that drink, huh?”

He didn’t just giggle, he laughed. His laugh felt so natural, so easy. “Alright, alright. But you’re getting something different, mademoiselle.”

“What’s wrong with Mojitos?” You asked, the mood so light it made you feel like flying.

“Absolutely nothing. That Mojito is a disgrace to mint and cocktails around the world. Looks like sugar and regret. Un crime envers la mixologie.” He muttered at the end, looking almost disgusted at the mere thought of that drink.

No need for translation, as it was obvious. Some sins are universal.

While he calls the bartender to this side of the counter, you drum your fingers to the music at the bar, intrigued by him. Hands.. his hands. They didn’t fit his shtick. They had callouses, not soft, smoothed nor polished like the rest of him. Though, it looked like it was old, and disappearing.

You kept drumming, drumming, drumming. tap-tap-tap, 3. Why were his hands like that?  tap-tap-tap-tap-tap,5. Primes. Fibonacci. Why 5? That’s wrong. Should’ve been 4. Or 8. Fuck—

“What else do you want to drink.?” He asked, his face calming. You paused.

“Anything.” It didn’t matter, did it? Either way, you wanted this night to end well, or maybe even forget it entirely

“Well then, let me treat you to some real alcohol, none of this sugar water merde. Get me two of your best bourbons here. Neat.”

The bartender walked away and started getting the glasses from the bottom, onto the counter, and the bottles were relieved from their duty on the shelves, and poured into the bottles. You saw it from the corner of your eye, the cigarette-scented-knight-in-shining-armor just..looking. You meet his gaze and he smiles.

“Looking at something?”

“You.”

You roll your eyes, and go back to tapping your fingers. tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. 5. Odd. tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. 5 again. The world feels strong, bright. You take a deep breath. Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-t- clink. The glasses are placed in front of you, the amber liquid shining against the glass. Sanji gets one, his hands brushed against yours. Rough. His hands were calloused. You were right. You get yours and look back at Sanji. “To pretty girls and bad mojitos.” He tilts his glass towards you.

You’d drink to that.

Your glasses clink. “Cheers.”

[swamp-adder]

canon quotes in support of the "Holmes is bipolar" theory

Nothing could exceed his energy when the working fit was upon him; but now and again a reaction would seize him, and for days on end he would lie upon the sofa in the sitting-room, hardly uttering a word or moving a muscle from morning to night. -- STUD

He was bright, eager, and in excellent spirits, a mood which in his case alternated with fits of the blackest depression. -- SIGN

Holmes could talk exceedingly well when he chose, and that night he did choose. He appeared to be in a state of nervous exaltation. I have never known him so brilliant. He spoke on a quick succession of subjects,--on miracle-plays, on medieval pottery, on Stradivarius violins, on the Buddhism of Ceylon, and on the war-ships of the future,--handling each as though he had made a special study of it. His bright humor marked the reaction from his black depression of the preceding days. -- SIGN

[...] as I have mentioned somewhere in these incoherent memoirs, the outbursts of passionate energy when he performed the remarkable feats with which his name is associated were followed by reactions of lethargy during which he would lie about with his violin and his books, hardly moving save from the sofa to the table. -- MUSG

Holmes had spent several days in bed, as was his habit from time to time [...] -- 3GAR

Sherlock Holmes was a man, however, who, when he had an unsolved problem upon his mind, would go for days, and even for a week, without rest, turning it over, rearranging his facts, looking at it from every point of view until he had either fathomed it or convinced himself that his data were insufficient. It was soon evident to me that he was now preparing for an all-night sitting. -- TWIS

He paced restlessly about our sitting-room in a fever of suppressed energy, biting his nails, tapping the furniture, and chafing against inaction. -- BRUC

It was not a long journey from Winchester to Thor Place, but it was long to me in my impatience, while for Holmes it was evident that it seemed endless; for, in his nervous restlessness he could not sit still, but paced the carriage or drummed with his long, sensitive fingers upon the cushions beside him. -- THOR

"My dear Watson, you know how bored I have been since we locked up Colonel Carruthers. My mind is like a racing engine, tearing itself to pieces because it is not connected up with the work for which it was built." -- WIST

[rainandsugarcane2000]

i will never claim to have to have any mental illness i havent been assessed and passed for because i feel that is irresponsible. ive only ever been officially diagnosed with anxiety. however, ive done professional screenings for dpdr, depression, and ocd and they all came back very high. they couldnt be added to my medical records because the therapist i was going to at the time wasn't connected to my medical team and she worked for a nonprofit which couldnt be used officially for one reason or another. however (again) i show strong signs of bpd or paranoid schizophrenia and i have full on different people in my head. so forgive me if i sound very extreme or if i vent on here, usually i dont see it as a vent because its just my way of thinking, so bare with me. im going to switch my high posting to another blog so i dont clog up yalls dashes. i don't support or condone drug use, however, i am a addict. just keep in mind i am extremely mentally unstable/ill so i WILL have these thoughts and hiccups and i am trying my best to manage, however it is extremely exhausting for me to do.

[losergendered]

ID: a flag with 6 stripes. the middle 2 stripes are thinner. they are orange, sunflower yellow, hot pink, dark purple, royal blue, and soft blue. END ID

a simplified version of this bipolar holder flag (link)! For alters/headmates/system members who are bipolar disorder symptom holders, etc

i wanted a simple stripe version for a post im making, and this flag is so gorgeous, so i figured id make it myself

[aintgonnatakethis]

i often find myself thinking 'you know, i haven't had any symptoms in ages. maybe my bipolar was misdiagnosed.' and then i either 1. come out of a depressive episode and am like ffs i didn't recognise the signs again or 2. wake up one morning having entered a hypersexual episode and be like. OH

[archangelofsaints]

Oh okay.

[ashpkat]

in my idealized version of the books (the Good timeline), jericho and constantine’s relationship is not the one aaron and calls relationship parallels — it’s constantine and joseph. in this essay i will *gets taken out by cassandra clare’s snipers*

[ehlnofaey]

bought even more plants recklessly spending money i don't really have and i am now realising i might be going through an episode

[squeakadeeks]

once again in awe at your amazing cosplays 😭 how long do you take to make one? i swear everytime i see you you have two more whole new cosplays

thank you!! and it varies, typically it takes 3 weeks to just over a month per costume, but work has been completely running me ragged so i doubt i can keep up that pace anymore 😵‍💫

my record/shortest time on a costume is 12 days for nekomancer:

i have a tie for the longest, but who thats for probably isnt a surprise haha. It's a tie between Lif, Karna, Hypnos, and Aether. i think it's interesting that lif, hypnos and karna all happened back to back!! Each of these took around 2 months.

[julian-is-unstable]

not really schizo or bipolar related this time, but basically I've been experiencing a lot of black and white thinking and getting really angry and resentful towards people out of nowhere and it's honestly scary.

like if i see one of my friends get complimented or have any positive social interaction with someone else i get SO angry because it should've been me and i start thinking everyone hates me and i hate them and they're all awful because no one cares about me and they all suck.

but then if i ask my friends for validation and they give it to me I'm like "yayyy everyone loves me so much and I'm so cool and awesome ^_^"

anyway does anyone know what this could mean and what i should do?? because i don't like hating people over nothing and my friends are actually very lovely and i don't want them to be affected by whatever is going on with me.

[moonsandloons]

Do you ever get so overwhelmed that your mind shuts down entirely and you become the meanest and most violent version of yourself and the only way to calm yourself down is by hiding under a blanket and blasting white noise into your ears or is that like. Not. Not a thing that we do here

[mr-gentleman-scientistt]

I bring a sort of genuinely really struggling mentally vibe to the function that well adjusted people don't really like

[haysaprocky]

imposter syndrome has been a very big theme for me this week in so many ways! have any of you ever dealt with this? i think i will talk about it in my next youtube video so would love to hear your experience or questions on the subject 🥸

[ninhydrin505]

Fascinating take. Horribly incorrect and betraying a fundamental attribution error, tendency toward hypocrisy, and mean streak yet again, but fascinating nonetheless.